/sp/ - Sparts

should be pretty popular, you guys really are into dudes with big tits slamming into each other

Sorry sweaty, I only watch LIVE sports. I could only find the schedule for today, but it looks like the the top division competes around 2-3AM CST. Too many hospice niggas around here for that I think.

>>1610961
>you guys really are into dudes with big tits slamming into each other
Yeah, it's a lot like foosball but better with more technique.

>>1611101
its also vary samurai cuz theres a ring and theyre all anime and 1 on 1 honorabru duel meanwhile everyone in the background is just standing there watching

>>1611106
>Two strongfat guys enter the ring
>One remains standing
>No holds barred, neck-chops allowed, sweaty heavy man-on-man bear-strength contact sparts on a mud/dirt floor with no padding
>First one knocked to the ground or out of the ring loses
>No time limits, but most matches don't make it to 30 seconds even
>Some guys win by jumping around like monkeys and slapping the shit out of each other
>Others win by thrusting with all their might (no homo) and grappling the other man's loincloth to lift him like a beast and chuck him
>Fighters are encouraged to land head-first to make sure the other guy touches the ground first

>>1611109
As it should be! Nice oekaki.

>>1611113
yo that second reversal one was sick

>>1611174
sry
forgot this was sumo treada
meant to say
UWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaa

grorious sumo basho thread
u guys ever backyard fight with 300lb+ dude? lock a dead to rights choke and they can still heem you just by falling its gameshark shit

terunofuji a beast

>>1611185
wtf is the general lifespan of a sumo wrassler?
lik u gotta be huge obv, for the massive advantage it brings. but damn dude, prolly have a heart attack when youre lik 40
most fat ppl dont move at all so their ticker can sometimes last a lil longer. but these guys are actually doin athletic shit, but just also being +300lbs

>>1611199
Generally you start training between age 8-14 and you leave your parents' house to live permanently at the dojo at age 12-15. From there you either go competitive (regionals) by 16-18 with the goal of hitting nationals by mid-20s, or you drop out by then (usually with only a Middle School education or less). If you go to nationals you can work as a sumo up until late 30s. The thing is most of these guys are as beefy as a football player under the rolls of fat since they eat big to get big but train hard both cardio and strength, so they have good hearts (the issue with most strength sports players). They tend to keep up the routine minus the heavy food so most either die around 40 or live on to be old men, which is why the life expectancy is roughly 60-65 for sumo.

we should force fatties to train and become sumo wrasslers so they can fight and then keel over and die of beetus-related heart stroke attacks for our amusement. think of all the money and lulz that can be made.

>>1611205
>cardio
anyone have that video of like 5 sumo wrasslers jumping rope at the same time?

>>1611231
you cant build muscle out of fucking potato chips and dr pepper tho, and thats what our meriblobs are made out of

damn sumo used to be way more brutal
wtf is with all the arrows sticking out?

orora was over 650 at his peak, gyat damn

>>1611275
They're called 下がり (Sagare) and they mark out the only places on the loincloth that you aren't allowed to grab in competition (primarily the groin). Basically you have to grab behind the stiffened silk fronds to make sure if your grip slips that you don't clutch him by the pearls.

is there stolen valor in sumo? just some fat dude buying robes off ebay or w/e

>>1611428
That would be very bad for someone's health since the yakuza are directly involved in the sport and have disappeared at least two professionals and several youths for even suggesting referee bias. Your name will be known if you're a sumo of any repute and people who can't even make it to regionals are frowned upon for bringing sumo careers up out-of-context if they aren't at least a big player in regionals. Any man can say they've done Sumo, but it's not like muhreens where you are pseudo-anonymous in the service. People can look up your win:loss record and see you're fullashit.

I mean shit dude, in a non-tournament Kyoto match in 2018 the referee repeatedly told two chicks helping representatives having a health emergency to get the fuck outta the ring because they have to remake the entire ring if a woman steps inside it (a 2-day process) since the ring is considered sacred Shinto/Buddhist grounds (that's why the referee is dressed up like a priest). There was a female governor from Osaka who basically got banned from Sumo because she refused to give the awards unless she was allowed to step in the ring five years in a row and the Sumo officials told her to fuck off and never come back. Northern Asians/Turks regularly get bought by Japanese sponsors since wrastlin' is huge in those parts of the world. Sumo is srs bsns and matters of honor.

is it wrong for me to want womens sumo, /sp/rothers?

>>1611435
yakuza are such vultures over all entertainment in nipland
i remember reading some story bout the guitarist for the police. before he was in the police, he was just a gig guy, and happened to land a gig as the guitarist for the animals

they had a whole tour scheduled for japan
get off the plane and all of a sudden some srs dudes in suits come over and start demanding protection money
they say you dont play in japan without paying us. their manager wasnt having that shit, denied them, and then some not-so-subtle threats on everyones life were made. so they all got back on the plane and left, eating it on the entire tour prolly cost a LOT

be it cards and casinos, vidya, sumo, music events, they seem to think they own everything
and i guess they kinda do

>>1611439
imagine the smell lel

>>1611435
gud info budy, forgot about yakuza. making me want to watch more sumo
>>1611442
there's almost always some kind of mob running shit throughout history, can do worse than yakuza. hell i'd take the wops or micks again. they at least provided protection for the cash

>>1611439
It exists at the amateur level. It has a history of being associated with brothels (basically mud-wrestling) so it's frowned upon. Women are expected to act as surrogate mothers for the teens at a stable sumo dojo and are typically the wife of the coach or prominent sumo at the stable.

Day 4 Recap!
Takerufuji (4-0) beats Myogiryu (2-2) in an orthodox push-play!
Roga (3-1) throws down Daiamami after a prolonged bear-hug!
Endo (2-2) surges back from an almost-loss and throws Kitanowaka (1-3) out with the trash!
Ryuden (3-1) leverages an opportunity to beat Churanoumi (2-2)!
Shimazuumi hurt his left knee the previous day and dropped out!
Nishikifuji 2-2 by default.
Sadanoumi (3-1) manages to ring-out Ichiyamamoto (1-3) after an intense slapfight!
Shonannoumi (3-1) can't seem to catch a break until Mitakeumi (2-2) slips up resulting in a throwdown!
Kotoshoho (2-2) doesn't even get to face Hokutofuji who fell down before the match could even begin!
1st Bout of The Day!
Shodai (3-1) beats Takayasu (3-1) for the 15th time by walking forward! It's not even a match!
Tamawashi (1-3) finally gets his first win against a half-crippled Kinbozan (1-3)! Kinbozan landed so hard in the audience it took him a few seconds to even get up before walking limping and dazed out of the arena! Will this be the end for Kinbozan this tournament!?
Gonoyama (2-2) manages to drop Onosho (3-1) who was trying desperately not to get a ring-out via perseverance!
Onosato (4-0) plows into Midorifuji's (1-3) small frame, ramming him out of the ring before he can get the slip on him!
Hiradoumi (3-1) gets thrown around the ring, but pulls a win after Tsurugisho's (2-2) left knee buckled out from under him! There seems to be a lot of chronic injury this tournament! Tsurugisho is unable to get up! Will this be the end of the tournament for him too!?
Atamifuji (2-2) manages to beat the fan favorite casual-style Tobizaru (2-2) after wearing him out with bulk defense and unwavering spirit!
Daieisho (1-3) scores his first win against Nishikigi (1-3) with a fast-and-furious ring-out!
Abi (4-0) fucks up his senpai Wakamotoharu (3-1) with long-arm shoves, royally pissing off Wakamotoharu!
Bout of The Day #2
Takakeisho (3-1) backs Ura (2-2) into a corner before flinging him over the edge in a show of force!
Hoshoryu (3-1) manages to endure Oho's (1-3) aggressive onslaught before letting him chuck himself out of the ring in a last-ditch effort!
Former ozeki Asanoyama (2-2) knocks a convictionless Kirishima out of the ring!
Kotonowaka (3-1) defeats Takanosho (1-3) THREE TIMES and the ref finally has to call his win after a takedown + ringout combo leaves no room for argument!
Upstart Meisei (2-2) gets cocky and picks up the much heavier yokozuna Terunofuji (2-2) to throw him out of the ring and earn a SECOND gold star against the yokozuna!!! Meisei's mind went berserk and he can't even remember his own win!

For those curious, sumo has a pretty strict hierarchy. From the bottom up you have:
>Jonokuchi
Pretty much anyone can be this rank. It's casual sumo and unless you have special sponsorship you start here. You can think of it as grade-school level sumo or sumo for older wrestlers who are coming back from an injury.
>Jonidan
This is the first rank that performs year-round. Typically this is the first rank where you officially stay at a stable instead of with your family. It's a division for children.
>Sandanme
This can be considered the first "professional" rank or at least professionals-in-training. There can only be 180 Sandanme at any given time and they can earn a stipend (not a salary) from their stable for performing well.
>Makushita
You can think of this as the sumo equivalent of college football. it's the last sumo rank where you are expected to do chores for higher-ups and it's the first sumo rank where you can earn a monthly living allowance. The top ranks within this division are heavily contested since it's an easy path to promotion to the next rank. Conversely, older sumo who do poorly at the next rank tend to hold the upper rank spots in Makushita.
>Juryo
Sumo who reach this rank are considered "professional sumo" even if they don't advance further since there are only 28 of them. The lower ranks act as a "barrier to entry" to keep out unaccomplished sumo while the upper ranks act as stand-ins when a Makuuchi is injured (or when determining if they should be promoted). Juryo receive a fixed salary and are no longer required to complete menial labor tasks at their stable which is why there's a joke that the lower Juryo/upper Makushita is the "barrier between heaven and hell."
>Makuuchi
Makuuchi are the cream of the crop, in sportsball terms they're the teams that consistently make it to the superb owl. The grand sumo event in the OP consists only of Makuuchi (primarily the top 4 ranks). These are bonafide professionals.
>Komusubi/Sekiwake
These are considered the last two ranks where a combination of skill and luck can secure you the title. At this rank they are considered "national figures" and stand next to the sumo association at opening ceremonies. People are constantly funneled in and out of these two positions since you have to win the majority of your matches to maintain the titles. Generally you cannot advance past these ranks on skill alone.
>Ozeki/Yokozuna
Basically the "idols" of the sumo world. If you can win 33 out of 45 matches over three tournaments in a row, you're "more or less guaranteed" to become an Ozeki, but it's ultimately a sumo board decision and they factor in things like if you rely on dodging techniques to win matches, age, or if you've had trouble with the law in the past. Yokozuna is more of a "ceremonial role" within the structure of Ozeki and has more to do with your decorum than it does with your ability. You have to be approved by an independent board of laypeople (people not in the sumo industry), then be approved by the judging division of the sumo association, then be approved by the board of directors. For all intents and purposes Yokozuna and Ozeki are equally ranked in competition, albeit the yokozuna earns more money and people have an incentive to try and win against the Yokozuna since doing so earns you a "gold star" (E.G. an award plus a permanent bonus to your salary).

>>1611511
>Makushita
prolly a gud call on nobs part to drop the "s" in the localization
i definitely wouldve been making dumb poop jokes about makuhita back then

is hariyama based on some sumo thing too?

>>1611520
>is hariyama based on some sumo thing too?
It's a play on words. Hari is the base-word prefix which refers to shoving/knocking someone down and yama is mountain. The most literal translation being "shoving mountain."

>>1611675
thanks for updates spro.
bummed about my boy terunofuji, reading heem bowed out
picrel @ 14:50 was sweet work, nuts size diff
9:45 was p funny too

crose carr

I'm not gonna fully review them because the translator translated three days all at once, but here's day 6.
>Takerufuji has yet to get a loss at 6-0
>Onosato is also 8-0
>Takayasu nearly has a heart attack after an endurance fight
>Abi got his first loss
>Lots of accidental ring-outs today
>Yokozuna can't put any weight on his left knee so he keeps getting his ass kicked, people suspecting he's staying in the tournament as a "fuck you" protest to the sumo association since every win against him is a positive bump on someone's permanent record/a permanent salary increase

Day 7:
>Yokozuna was forced to withdraw from the tournament, doctor says he threw out his lower back and needs at least 2 weeks to recover
>Takerufuji REMAINS UNDEFEATED!
>>1612082 begins at 7:36 and it's as marvelous as this shot makes it out to be
>Onosato got his first loss vs Onosho and cried a little

>>1612256
Oops, posted the same video twice. This one.

Day 8!

Mitoryu (6-2) uses his weight to wear out Roga (4-4)

Bout of The Day!

Upstart Takerufuji (8-0) continues his dominance, taking out a baffled Ryuden (4-4) in his attempt to achieve a record not seen in a century! First rookie since 2011 to win 8 straight matches!
Takerufuji uses a unique style of sumo that is frowned upon by the JSA. This has resulted in him being something of a "hated underdog" by the JSA for his ability to continue to win in spite of not using traditional tactics since they must promote him for his wins, but they consistently score him lowly on form to keep the promotions lower than they ought to be.
Churanoumi (4-4) gets behind Myogiryu (3-5) and thrusts until Myogiryu's rear defenses falter!
Shonannoumi (6-2) beats Kitanowaka (1-7) who has been on a losing streak for 5 days straight!
Ichiyamamoto (4-4) defeats Endo (2-6) for the first time!
Daiamami (4-4) overwhelms Shodai (4-4) with his size difference!
Mitakeumi (6-2) gently guides Nishikifuji (5-3) into spinning around and out of the ring!
Sadanoumi (6-2) hurls Hokutofuji (1-7) out of the ring; fighting spirit returning isn't enough against 20+ years of technique!
Kotoshoho (3-5) defeats Onosho (5-3) with a dishonorabru side-step right at the start!
After careful deliberation from the judges, Gonoyama's (5-3) foot left the ring after Takayasu's (5-3) hand touched the clay! Takayasu looks PISSED at the judge's decision!
Kinbozan (2-4-2) returns after stepping out for a neck injury and takes out Midorifuji (3-5)!
Onosato (7-1) bounces back, defeating Tamawashi (2-6) who almost ringed him out with a parry and swing! Tamawashi is slow to get up from his fall and appears a little dazed!
Meisei (3-5) comes back from three consecutive losses and smokes Hiradoumi (4-4) with a massive thrusting attack!
Abi (6-2) silences the crowd by throwing fan-favorite Ura (3-5) directly into the front row! Noise filters can't hide the booing of the audience!
Asanoyama (4-4) ring-outs Nishikigi (1-7) who basically gave up, losing for the 7th day in a row!
Daieisho (4-4) manages to stay calm and overwhelm Atamifuji (4-4) causing him to drop to his knees!
Takakeisho (6-2) knocks back Oho (3-5) with consistent, unrelenting thrusts and headbutts! Takakeisho needs two more wins to not lose his Ozeki status!
Hoshoryu (6-2) gets slammed back nearly to the edge of the ring, but manages to get the slip on the heavier Takanosho (3-5) and throw him out!
Tobizaru (5-3) goes in with his flying monkey strategy, but when Kirishima (2-6) stands his ground he goes in with the grapple-style win showing his versatility! Kirishima isn't evening the score today and looks completely confused at what happened!
When asked how he won, he responded "I don't remember." Tobizaru, the absolute mad-dog berserker of the ring!

Second Bout of The Day!

Kotonowaka (6-2) gives Wakamotoharu (5-3) no quarter and settles the score from his loss last tournament!
>1st place: Takerufuji (8-0)
>2nd Place: Onosato (7-1)
>7 people tied for 3rd, tomorrow that should get reduced some
>Takerufuji to go up against his rival tomorrow

>>1612256
7:36 matches in both those vids were great

>>1612267
16:07 was a fucking beatdown

>>1612271
I like how they're trained to fall on their forehead because it's the point furthest away from their body, so you can see both of them go limp the moment they realize they're both gonna fall out at the same time in order to maximize air drag. Both cases, really. Damn.

>>1612267
>When asked how he won, he responded "I don't remember."
makes sense tbh
its a martial art
youre trained to be able to just react. any time spent thinking would likely just get you tossed out on your ass

>>1612267
It's already Day 10!
Much happened. Takerufuji has a good chance to win the yusho, with a mere two more wins. His next bout against Kotonowaka will be a deciding one, as the ozeki is the other candidate. I doubt Onosato will have a say again.

>>1612431
>It's already day 10
I tend to be about 1.5 days behind schedule since the previous day recap gets posted in the morning and I don't see it until the later evening. I'll get day 9 recapped a little later, got stuff to do first.

Day 9 Recap!

Myogiryu (4-6) calmly pushes Tomokaze (4-5) out of the ring! It looks like he didn't even try!
Ryuden (5-4) has a stamina battle with the smaller (but fatter) Endo (2-7) before finally pushing him out! It looks like he's going to offer the man a hand before grabbing his Sagare and walking away! Brutal!
Churanoumi (5-4) gets thrown around the ring by the more experienced Sadanoumi (6-3) before managing to get a grip and chuck the man to the ground right at the verge of loss!
Daiamami (5-4) has an orthodox match with Ichiyamamoto (4-5) before winning conventionally!
Roga (5-4) beats Mitakeumi (6-3) solidly!
Kotoshoho (4-5) gets slapped around but ultimately makes Kitanowaka's (1-8) 5-day losing streak into a 6-day losing streak despite the ref giving him a handicap when he stepped out-of-bounds!
Takayasu (6-3) pushes Nishikifuji (5-4) out of the ring twice! What are the refs doing!?
Shonannoumi (7-2) handily ring-outs Onosho (5-4)!
A knee-crippled Hokutofuji (2-7) takes advantage of a neck-crippled Kinbozan (2-4-3) by going lower with his center-of-gravity!
Gonoyama (6-3) gets smacked back a bit but ultimately pushes Shodai (4-5) out of the ring!
Tamawashi (3-6) uses technical skill to ring-out the younger Hiradoumi (4-5)!
Oho (4-5) shoves out Takanosho (3-6)!
Meisei (4-5) takes advantage of Atamifuji's (4-5) weakened arm to leverage him out of the ring!
Ura (4-5) gets shoved around by the heavier Asanoyama (4-5), but in the end Ura does some WWE shit and flips Asanoyama outta the ring for the wind! The fans are loving their fan favorite after yesterday's brutal shove-out! Ura seemed to get a minor leg injury in the process though, will he be ok!?
^ 16:10

First Bout of The Day!

Takerufuji scores his NINTH WIN facing Abi (6-3) for the first time by getting up-close and personal!!

Second Bout of The Day!

Punished Onosato (8-1) makes his comeback against Wakamotoharu (5-4) with a tight and aggressive ring-out!
>"I'm going to continue to move forward, from now on each match becomes more important so I'm going to focus on each match and do my best!"
Kotonowaka (7-2) is like a rock as he just slides Daieisho (4-5) across the ground and outta the ring without room for argument!
Takakeisho (7-2) knows Tobizaru's (5-4) got neck issues and uses it to his advantage to neck-slap the shit outta him until he's outta the ring! The dancing monkey couldn't even get close!
Midorifuji (4-5) manages to break his losing streak against Hoshoryu (6-3)! He looks very pleased with himself!
>"I'm glad I can finally get out of that rut I've been in! I'll continue to do sumo as I've always done!"
Kirishima (3-6) gets pushed back, but manages to ring-out Nishikigi (1-8)! He seems relieved he's not royally fucked now!

Leaderboard:
>1st: Takerufuji (9-0)
>2nd: Onosato (8-1)
>3rd: Tie between Takakeisho, Kotonowaka, and Shonannoumi (all 7-2)

Terutsuyushi retires at age 39.

>>1612477
Tamawashi got Jap citizenship.

>>1612459
We watch Natto's recaps each day at 17:00 UTC here: https://cytu.be/r/endcorner
Feel free to join. Since you are behind with over a day it would be a jump as we watch it on the day it is released. So today was day 11.
You could join in May perhaps.

>>1612559
if u mak a thread again in may i'll def pop in, gud thread budy

>>1612559
>just straight picks him up and throws him
whoa. if only burgerfats were this strong i think >we'd have a p gud sumo league going. certainly wouldnt lack for contestants

>>1612612
And doing it while his knees, lower back, and spine are fucked.

Sumo bro stuck at day 9. Not sure I want to spoiler how the basho ended.

>>1611273
need to chuk the chankonabe

>>1611275
samurai sport they have to shoot at each other first from the opposing end of the dohyo

>>1611428
if you do it in the murrica your fine

>>1611439
womens sumo exists

>>1611511
i'd add:
- juryo wasn't there originally, it was just makushita and makuuchi
- yokozuna is a permanent title until retirement, but ozeki can be lost

>>1611772
>bummed about my boy terunofuji
ditto

>>1613254
NHK cucked out at day 12. Buncha bullshit happened to me so haven't had a chance to check spee. Feel free to spoiler, I'll do highlights if I have a chance this coming week.

>>1613283
You should try NattoSumo's discord. https://discord.com/invite/nattosumo
Or telegram: https://t.me/NattoSumo
His stuff is NHK broadcast (for now, they are thinking to switch to Abema) and edits various stats of the rikishis above it before each tachi-ai. He keeps the original Japanese commentary, no English like the NHK highlights. Makushita, juryo, makuuchi bouts. Also sometimes they translate the yusho interview.